To Kill A Mockingjay
by asgardianmints
Summary: After the Quell, District 13 managed to save one of the star-crossed lovers, while the Capitol took hold of the other. Now he's held captive, and is slowly being tortured into madness. Peeta's POV; between Catching Fire and Mockingjay. *Complete*
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello. I started writing this as a one-shot but I decided to continue. This is a Peeta POV fic that bridges the gap between when he was captured by the Capitol to when he's rescued by District 13. I'll try and keep it as canon as possible, and if I make any mistakes, feel free to tell me. Enjoy!**

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><p>It takes me a while to make sense of my surroundings. And when I do, the shock of what's happened hits me with a force that momentarily sends the air out of my lungs. The arena, the explosion, Katniss! Where is she? Where am I? I try and move, but I can't. I'm held down by cold metal restraints on a white table, which only adds to my panic. I start flailing around, as best I can, in the maniac hope that the restraints will let me go. What little energy I had before subsides quickly, and I stop when I realise that all moving around will do is hurt my wrists.<p>

I look around me. All I can see are four white walls and a spotless ceiling. It makes me want to gag. It's too sterile. I'm not in the arena any more, and I'm definately not in District 12. So where am I? The only place that I can think of is the Capitol. But there were only a few tributes left, why would they stop the Games at such a late stage? Actually, why would they stop them at all?

My eyes keep finding the wall in front of me and I get a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. I'm being monitered. As I come to this conclusion, it's like proof simply pops up out of nowhere. There's a humming, which is coming from a machine next to the table. Tendril-like wires spiral out from it, and I try and block out another wave of panic when I realise a few of them are sticking into my arm. There's also a camera above me; I can see the tiny red light blinking on and off.

The wall opens; a door so plain and white and in sync with the walls that I didn't notice it. The man that walks in confirms the suspicion that I am indeed in the Capitol. Dark-skinned, with bright green spirals outlining each round ear, and dressed in a bright white outfit and hat. The colour white is starting to make me feel really ill, and when this man approaches the table, it's all I can do not to try to kick him, or punch him, or even throw a string of profanities at him. I don't know who he is; he might be trying to help. But I don't care. I just want to be home, with Katniss.

"Peeta Mellark," he says. There goes the thought that he might be trying to help me. His voice is kind, but it has a nasty edge to it. I've been around people who live in misery enough to recognise the tone of someone being forced to be friendly.

"Who are you?" I say through clenched teeth.

"My name is Adi. And I'm going to be doing a few health tests. No need to worry; we do this after every Game." he tells me, with the tone of someone trying to manipulate a clueless child.

"You didn't do it after my last one," only after I've said it do I realise how stupid the question must have sounded. I was unconscious for a long time after the first Games, and since I'm living right now, I can assume that they did in fact do a few health tests.

Adi moves around to the machine and bends down in front of it. "Oh, we did, but you were somewhat dead to the world after your encounter with the mutts. Ask your dear fiancée if you don't believe me."

Now I really dislike this man. I may be tied up, literally, but I managed to see Adi's horrid smirk that followed his mention of Katniss. She could be here too, somewhere, restrained in a disgusting room like this, being tortured or even worse. This thought tells me what my paranoia from a few minutes ago hasn't completely left me.

"Where is she?" I hiss, unable to control my hostility. "Is she ok? What happened in the arena?" I stop myself from asking any more, and save the next line of questions for later.

"It seems your 'friends' had been planning," he pauses to see if I noticed the stress on the word 'friends'. "Katniss, that old District 3 fool Beetee, even your mentor. They blew up the arena and saved themselves."

Adi calling Beetee a fool makes me angry. Oddly, the rest of the sentance doesn't even register with me. I'm silent, and Adi shakes his head with another twisted smirk.

"You're not saying much, boy. Although betrayal is a shocking thing to take in-"

"They didn't betray me," I spit. "And you didn't answer my question. _Where is Katniss?_"

Adi flicks a switch on the machine and there's a slight hissing. My arm starts to hurt as I notice a pinkish-green liquid make its way through one of the wires.

"She left you. In the arena. It was their plan all along. She and your mentor planned to leave you there. They didn't need you any more to pull of that star-crossed lover charade, so they got rid of you."

"I don't believe that!" I cry, hysteria creeping into my voice as the stuff flowing into my arm makes my head spin. Adi doesn't say anything else, and I'm starting to panic again, so I keep shouting. I start shouting Katniss' name. In a matter of minutes I'm weeping. I don't know where I am. I don't know where anyone is. I'm trapped, and alone.

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><p><strong>Please review. Reviews are like morphling to a writer.<br>**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games. If I did, I wouldn't have killed off Rue :(**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello! As promised, chapter two. Not sure about this chapter. But hey, I got one review. Can I maybe get up to five by the next chapter?** **I know that's not much in the wide world of fanfictions****, but *shrugs*.**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

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><p>The blackness is disappearing. My eyes must have been open for a while because the dark is bleeding away like water down those odd Capitol plugholes. Capitol. I remember where I am, and I regain my mind again. At first I don't bother moving but when I feel the absence of my restraints, I jump to my feet.<p>

"Katniss?" I shout, as loud as my dry throat can manage. "KATNISS!"

I pause when I hear shuffling. As I spin around to try and find the source I realise that I'm in another all white room, this time a perfect cube, with a low ceiling and barely enough floor space to hold the one piece of furniture here - a single bed. Somehow I feel more claustrophobic than I did when I was restrained. I hear more shuffling, and as I look closer at the wall to my right I see a small square of window. I hurry to it, hoping for some fresh air. I gasp. Huddled against a corner, head buried in hands, sobbing softly - it's Johanna.

"Johanna!" I say, banging my hands against the window. She lifts her head, and I'm pleased to see that her trademark hardened facial expression isn't completely gone. She looks around, but doesn't seem to have noticed me. I bang on the window again, and keep doing so, but she doesn't look at me once. I'm starting to worry about the possibility of the Capitol blinding her, when I realise that the glass is one-way. She can hear me banging on the glass, but she can't see me.

So I'm trapped in here. In the Capitol, and so is Johanna. I'm finding it more and more likely that Katniss is here somewhere. That story about her and Haymitch abandoning me is rubbish, I'm sure of it. Haymitch may be an infuriating pain, but although he doesn't say it, he does like us. He wouldn't just leave one of us in the hands of the Capitol, which seems to have turned from fake friend to enemy.

My stomach is complaining. I'm starving, and I can feel a large lump on my arm where Adi had injected that pink stuff. It reminds me of a tracker jacker sting, just without the hallucinations.

I find out in a few minutes that my claustrophobic room also has a hidden door, when it opens and Adi steps in, accompanied by some Peacekeepers. Adi hasn't changed out of his white clothes, and I feel a wave of fear against him. Even when I see the plate of buttered rolls he's carrying, I shrink to the corner of the room.

"Peeta," he says, smiling. "How are you?"

"You knocked me out, and I have a lump on my arm the size of a plum. Obviously I'm feeling fine." I mutter.

"Yes, I'm sorry about before. But you seemed so distressed I thought drugging you would be easier than dragging you kicking and screaming to your room." says Adi, and the Peacekeepers exchange looks behind him.

Adi sets the food down on my bed, and turns to leave. He pauses, and adds, "When you're done, we'll come a collect you. We've got a little film to show you."

Before I can say anything else they're gone. My heart is pounding, and I don't know why. Somewhere in my brain, I connect my newfound fear of the Capitol madman with what he injected me with. As I eat my rolls like someone who's never seen food before, my thoughts turn back to Johanna. There's no point in trying to make her know I'm there, and watching her sitting there crying will probably make my anguish increase.

In about an hour, when I'm finished, Adi comes back. By this time I feel so depressed due to not knowing, that I don't even try and resist as they place handcuffs on my wrists and lead me out into the hall. I pass Johanna's room, which I see has another one-way wall so everyone can see her. It makes me feel sick. that must mean people have been watching me too. Maybe Adi had been waiting outside all the time I was eating. It makes me feel even more vulnerable.

They lead me to a room with darkened walls and ceiling. After all the white I've seen so far, I'm grateful. Although through the black I can see blinking lights and reflections off screens taking up the whole of the back wall. I'm guessing that there's one long machine dominating this room. In the centre I can make out another table, like the one I was held by before, only with a slanted back, so I can see the large television facing it. As Adi and a Peacekeeper attatch the restraints, another Peacekeeper turns on the television. The Capitol seal suddenly dominates the screen. Once I'm held firmly by the cold, somewhat jagged metal, the Peacekeeper hands a tape to Adi.

"What's that?" I ask, fear bubbling behind my eyes.

"You'll like it. It's a video of Katniss."

"Why are you making me watch a video of Katniss?" A sudden thought. "Are you going to make me watch her being tortured? I know you have her somewhere here, too! Please don't tell me you've tortured her! Please, don't show me something like that... please..."

Adi inserts the tape despite my babbling pleas, and I'm shown a tape of Katniss in the arena. In the 74th Hunger Games. Our first one. It's the tape of when we were in the cave, and we had just heard Claudius Templesmith's voice announcing the feast. I'm about to ask Adi what the point of this is, when he jabs something into my arm. I look at him in time to see him pull the needle out, dripping with the same pinkish-green substance as before. Then he grabs the top of my head and turns it around, then quickly fastens another restraint that keeps my head in place.

This time I'm forced to watch; once again my head is spinning, and my arm is killing me. I watch Katniss hide the sleep syrup in my food. I remember that. I remember coming to the realisation, and then I watch her force the rest in my mouth. A new feeling washes over me. Only now do I realise that Katniss could have killed me. She could have killed me right there, and after defeating Cato, she would have been the victor. I shudder involuntarily, and I dearly want to look away. I feel ill. What is that stuff now flowing around my veins? It hurts my head.

"I don't... I don't feel right," I say to Adi, although I know he won't care. "Please. Turn it off..."

"Whatever you say, Peeta." says Adi, and he motions for the Peacekeepers to switch it off. They do, and I whisper a weak "Thanks", before fainting.

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><p><strong>Need more morphling...<strong>

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games any more than I did last chapter.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Chapter three! I didn't get five reviews, but I'm really excited for this story, so I thought I'd post three anyway. Enjoy!**

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><p><em>I'm in the arena. In the Games. I'm running, as fast as I can with my injured leg. I don't know who injured it. Was it Cato? Or was it someone else? I can't remember. Someone's chasing me. I don't know who that is either. I don't know anything. All I know is that the someone has just made me stop, by shooting an arrow at a tree, and making it fall in front of me. I stand, staring in horror, at the tree that now blocks my way. The someone taps me on the shoulder, and I turn around. The someone is staring at me with a maniac glint in it's eye. It raises the bow, and points the arrow straight at my heart. As it shoots, I just have time to recognise it's face. The face of my killer is...<em>

I wake up screaming. I'm lying on a bed, and for a moment, I think I'm back home in Victor's Village. I keep my eyes closed, and I realise how hard I'm shivering. My mind wanders back to my dream, but I refuse to let it probe too deep. I don't want to remember who my killer was. I don't think I even can. When someone's tapping on the door, I open my eyes. Then does cold, hard reality sink in, and I realise where I am. I'm in my tiny room, or should I say _cell_, somewhere in the Capitol. Johanna and Katniss are here too, only I can't reach them.

More tapping, and at the thought of Johanna, I realise what it is. I scramble out of my creaking bed and find the one-way window in my cell. It leads to Johanna's, and sure enough, there she is. Knocking on the wall adjacent to mine. Did she hear me screaming?

My door opens for the second time since I've been here, and this time it isn't that pompous Adi that walks in, it's two Peacekeepers. I back up, but they grab me. For Capitol people, they're very muscular and strong. I'm about to be submissive when I hear Johanna screaming next door. Unable to break out of the Peacekeeper's grasps, I drag them over to the window. Two more Peacekeepers are trying to get Johanna out, but she's throwing things at them and screaming at them to leave her alone. The only things in there were two plates and a few cups, and one hits the Peacekeeper squarely in the face, which explodes in an abundance of blood and swearing.

"I'm glad we got the blondie." I hear the Peacekeeper on my right say to the other.

I scowl at them, but they don't notice. They're too busy watching as more Peacekeepers file into Johanna's room. This time they sedate her and drag her out. My Peacekeepers lead me out, and I feel a surge of sympathy towards the violent girl from District 7. I wish I had her energy. Being drugged twice by the same thing has made me sluggish.

This time I'm brought into a room with three normal white walls and one glass one. I'm guessing the subtle technique of one-way glass is being used, when once again I'm strapped to a chair facing it. I don't know where they took Johanna, but I hope she's ok. I hope Katniss is ok too, wherever she is.

In the room behind the glass, is another chair. Except this one is very machine-like, with wires jutting out everywhere, panels on one side, and the leather straps that are most likely meant to hold a person in place. This looks like something used for torture. My suspicion is confirmed when Adi walks in, followed by more Peacekeepers pulling someone else along with them. My heart stops for a moment, but it isn't Katniss. It's not Johanna either. It's the red-headed Avox girl.

She looks awful. Her hair is matted, grazes cover her face and bare arms, and she obviously hasn't eaten a full meal for a very long time. I try to get up; I instinctively want to protect her from these people. She didn't do anything wrong.

"What are you doing with her!" I cry to Adi, hoping he hears me. He does, and holds his index finger up to me, mouting "One minute". I watch as he helps strap the girl to the machine-like chair, and then he pratically hops out and joins me in the room facing.

"Now, Peeta, what did you want?"

"What are you doing to that Avox? What has she done?"

Adi chuckles. I feel anger - which tones down the fear - against the sicko. "You don't even know her name? It's Lavinia. And she hasn't done anything. No, we just want to show you what Katniss has done."

He then turns and nods to the Peacekeepers standing on the other side of the glass, behind the girl slumped over in the chair. They then start what I presume is turning on the machine. Lavinia weakly raises her head, and recognises me. Her eyes find mine, and she gives me a silent plead. _I'm so sorry_, I say in my head, the only way I could possibly reach her. Now I think I know what they're going to do.

I desperately try and distract him, anything to keep him from doing the deed. "What do you mean? Katniss hasn't done anything! You have her somewhere, I..." my voice suddenly drips with uncertainty, "I- I know it."

"You don't know anything, boy. Katniss has condemned this girl to death. The same way she abandoned you just to save herself."

"No!" I cry, and then I'm being injected again. My eyes water at the pain as the liquid starts to take effect. I start feeling dizzy, and Adi's words swirl around in my brain.

Suddenly, a metal headpiece lowers onto Lavinia's dirty ginger head, and I see a crackle of electricity flicker across the wire connecting it to the chair. She lowers her head again, her only hope as useless and as powerless as she is. Then, she's screaming a horrible animal-like scream, electricity running up and down her body, distorting her through the glass. I feel hot tears running down my face, and through them I can see Adi smiling. I find myself wanting to hurt him.

_I did this, _I think. Then something clicks. _Or did Katniss... no, she couldn't. Could she? She didn't save Lavinia before... who's to say she cares now..._

I hate myself for thinking that. Katniss couldn't have done this. It was the Capitol. They have her somewhere. They must. As I'm thinking about things, I notice Lavinia's screams lower down to warbled groans, and then she's as silent as she was before. Adi stops smiling, and rushes into the room. There's smoke pouring from the chair, and Lavinia's body is limp and blackened. I can't turn my head, so I close my eyes, stopping the flow of tears. I can hear the Peacekeepers and Adi talking. I only catch one sentance; the one that I was dreading.

"We've used too much electricity."

Lavinia, the poor Avox who hadn't harmed anyone, had been tortured and now killed just to hurt me. Then, as blackness comes once again, I find myself swearing fear-inflicted revenge. Against Adi, and against the whole stinking Capitol.

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><p><strong>Please review!<br>**

**Disclaimer: Once again I do not own this book series, I'm just a bored girl with a computer. **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Two chapters in one day? Hmm. Anyway, this one is short and I feel kind of unsure about it, so review if you have any problems.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>By now I've come to expect waking up to those stupid Peacekeepers or Adi, but this time I wake up on the floor, a hard wooden floor. My muscles and head ache like crazy. I feel like someone's carelessly thrown me on the ground, and then struck my head with a mallet. My memories feel jumbled. The only thing I can make sense of is the fact that Lavinia, the Avox, is dead. I watched her die and I couldn't save her.<p>

"It took you long enough," I hear someone say. Except it isn't the toneless voice of a Peacekeeper or the nasty one that belongs to Adi, this voice is female, and I recognise it.

"J- Johanna?" I say, opening my eyes to the sight of someone sitting at a wooden table. My vision is blurred, but I can definately confirm the someone as Johanna.

"Who else?" she says impatiently, but I can't miss the note of gratitude in her voice.

I get to my feet, "Why are we here?"

"I'm allowed to eat my lunch here. Some guy with green ears dropped you in. He said you were making good progress and deserved a break."

Adi. He said I was making good progress. What does that mean? I get up slowly and this time I can see the door. The thought of escape crosses my mind but I'm almost certain that it's heavily guarded.

I find my way to the table and sit down across from her. She's eating what smells like tomato soup. I find another bowl filled with the stuff and realise how hungry I am. I shovel the whole lot down my throat in one go, not bothering about manners. The way the soup burns my throat somehow clears my vision. Johanna doesn't have my appetite, and is just stirring her soup with the spoon. There's a silence, in which I'm still pretending to eat, before she asks me a question.

"What have they been doing to you?"

I frown, and finally let go of the bowl. The answer is "I don't know", but I remain silent. She's staring at me, and I notice her left lower eyelid twitching, and the burn marks all over her skin. She looks like Lavinia did.

"Peeta, I know you're not an Avox, answer me," she says, snapping her fingers in front of my face.

"I.. I don't know. I really don't know," I feel a tear escape my eye at the mention of the word Avox. Johanna notices.

"Something bad, obviously."

"They made me watch Lavinia die. They told me that it was-" no, I won't say it. If I say it, I'll start thinking about it. I know it wasn't Katniss' fault. I stop my sentance and become silent.

"Who's Lavinia?"

I hesitate, "She was an Avox girl. Dark red hair, pale face..."

Then, Johanna violently shudders, and jumps, as if I've just crept up behind her. "I know her. They tortured her. I... I watched it."

Somehow I don't think she's being entirely truthful. The way she reacted. I want to press into the matter furthur, but she doesn't look up to the task. Instead, to save us from another awkward silence, another invisible door opens and yet more Peacekeepers rush in. They grab Johanna, despite her lashing out, and propel her from the room. I start following her cries, but more of the white-coated men stop me. I'm panicking more than I've ever panicked before. I haven't smelled fresh air in days, and I can hear Johanna's cries, and I want to get back home.

I kick one of their shins, and take off down the hall. I'm thankful for all the training we did prior to the Quell. I slip past more and more Peacekeepers easily. Although I suspect they're also taken by surprise. I follow Johanna's screams and cries to a room a good ten minutes walk from our cells, and burst through the door.

She looks up at me, soaked to the skin and hanging from cuffs against a tiled wall. I'm seized from behind and pulled away from the room, but not in time to miss watching an electric current snake down the cuffs and into Johanna's wet body.

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: Do I have to say it again? Really?<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Five, right here. I'll probably have the next chapter up on Sunday. Enjoy!**

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><p>"No!" I scream, as I'm dragged away. She'll die! I never thought I'd say this, but I don't want her to leave me. Not here. "Let me go! Johanna!"<p>

"Shut up!" snaps one of the Peacekeepers.

"Then let her go! Please, let her... and Katniss go..."

The Peacekeepers frown. One of them says, "Your girlfriend isn't here, blondie. She took off. Left you with us."

"I don't believe that," I lash out, catching one in the chin. "Please, let-"

Then I'm punched. The Peacekeepers' fists are about twice the size of mine, and I momentarily see stars. They're pretty stars. When I come back to my senses I'm being thrown back into my cell. The Peacekeepers don't leave; they just stand by the door, waiting.

This time I don't bother trying to escape. They could break my neck with one twist if they wanted to, and right now I'd say they're quite ticked off with me. So instead I curl up on my bed and cry. It isn't manly, but I can't help it. I don't know what's going to happen to me, my friends are suffering, and I'll probably never leave.

Eventually, Adi comes, and they escort me out. They take me to the the television room, and tie me up. This time I have a metal helmet; I'm guessing I haven't escaped the electricity punishment. Maybe they'll even kill me for causing too much trouble.

"Now, Peeta," begins Adi. "You understand that what you did earlier is a punishable offense?"

"I guessed as much." I say, fixing the man with what I hope is my best _You will pay for this_ stare. Judging by his expression I'm guessing I just look more along the lines of clinically insane.

"But we've decided to let you off," this surprises me. "Considering what you've been through."

"You mean tortured. By you."

Adi makes a small growling noise. "_No_." the he composes himself and coughs, "No."

I realise what he means, and it brings on a fresh wave of anger.

"They didn't betray me." I grumble lamely

Adi shakes his head, and asks who I'm guessing is some kind of doctor to "Turn the dosage up". As Adi turns on the television and the doctor turns some dials on what I think is the machine controlling the pink liquid.

"What are you making me watch now?" I ask, wincing as the doctor jabs my arm with a wire. I watch as the liquid makes its way into my system.

"You don't seem to believe us when we say Katniss left you. So we're going to show you," Adi puts a different tape in and an image blares up on the screen.

Through my increasing dizzy stupor, I watch as Johanna pins Katniss to the ground. I watch her remove the tracker from Katniss' arm. Then, the rest is a blur until I see a hovercraft pick Katniss up. Then Beetee, then Finnick. They leave Enobaria, Johanna, and me.

So it's true. What Adi told me was true. That doesn't mean he was right about Katniss being a part of the plan, was he? What else hasn't she told me?

After the tape ends, the doctor turns the lights on and Adi is looming over me.

"What did you think?"

"I... but she wouldn't..."

"But she _did_. She doesn't care about you, Peeta. She never has. She was _using_ you!"

I want to shake my head; but I can't. Instead, I manage to stammer, "No, she... she wasn't... she wasn't!"

I recieve an electric shock. It almost knocks me out.

"Katniss Everdeen isn't your friend, boy. She was never your friend. Your pathetic little love story was a lie."

I don't say anything. I don't want to say anything. I don't want to believe any of this, but for some reason, it makes sense. Maybe Adi isn't the enemy after all...

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: Still don't own.<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Here you go, chapter six! Hooray, or whatever. Anyway, I've run out of pre-written chapters, but I'll still try to put up a chapter a day. Boring part over, enjoy!**

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><p>I don't see Johanna in the flesh after that. I only see her in the tapes. Every time they inject me with what that awful pink substance, before showing me a clip of Katniss. I think it's been a week now since I first woke up in that sickly, white room. Right now I'm in my cell, snarled up in my thin bed sheets. I don't want to move any more. I don't even want to live.<p>

My arm is killing me; now swollen and red due to so many injections. All the electrocutions have taken a toll on my prosthetic leg, which has given me a painful limp. Although all this is nothing compared to the constant throbbing pain in my head. Even my memories hurt. They're fuzzy, like they're not even there any more. Just memories of memories. That doesn't even make sense. I just want it to be over. I just... I want to be home. With...

Why can't I say it? Why does her name now register as something sinister? Why do I just want to escape it all, even her? I feel lost, and confused, and alone. And I'm guessing that this is the way it's going to stay. Probably even forever.

My stomach is complaining. I haven't eaten in days. It isn't like they haven't been feeding me; they have. I just haven't seen any reason not to starve myself. If I get at least one peaceful night with a full belly and somewhat pleasant dreams I'll still have to wake up to _this_. Being a captive, tortured boy nobody cared enough to save.

I can hear screaming next door. Johanna. They're using electrocution on her again. After being thrown back into my cell yesterday I caught sight of her through the one-way window. My heart broke, even more than it already had. Hair dirty and singed; an involuntary twitch shimmering up and down her body; the rasping sobs making their way to my ears.

I don't know how long I've been lying here now. But I get some slight clue as to the time when the two Peacekeepers I've come to recognise stride in with Adi close behind.

"Good evening, Peeta." I hear one of them say; I refuse to waste my vision by paying any attention to them. But I'm glad for the confirmation on the time. Evening. I've been lying in bed almost all day.

"What's great about it?" I mumble, my own throat hoarse from so many ignored pleads and cries.

"Admittedly not much," says Adi. "But that doesn't mean we can't improve it, does it?"

I glance at the men out of the corner of my eye, and before the Peacekeepers have to haul me out of the room, I groggily get up and allow them to take me. I don't want any fuss today.

"You don't have much energy. Haven't you been eating?" asks Adi.

"I haven't had a reason to eat." I reply, focusing all my effort on walking. I don't know what's more painful; the limp of my prosthetic leg, or the strain on my real one.

"That's no way to think." says Adi.

We walk on in silence until we reach a room. My heart flutters horribly; this is the torture room where they killed Lavinia, the red-headed Avox girl that Katniss didn't save.

"No." I say.

"No what?"

"I'm not going in there," I sound pathetic, my voice scratchy and my willpower sapped. "No way."

Adi cocks his head to one side, "I'm afraid you don't have a choice. Don't worry, it isn't a film. We just want to show you something else to take your mind off things."

This doesn't make me feel better in the least. But I feel to tired and weak to resist and let the damned Peacekeepers lead me into the room, and strap me to the chair facing the one-way glass wall. The machine-like chair from when they killed Lavinia is gone, and has been replaced by a single heavy chain attatched to someone's foot.

Unlike before I don't even think about the fact that it could be Katniss or Johanna, because I don't have the time. As soon as I notice the chain, its prisoner starts babbling. Darius. The former Peacekeeper turned Avox from the Hob back in District 12. I know that he and Katniss knew eachother. He looks even worse than Lavinia; in a sweaty, dirty vest streaked with dried blood, and simple grey trousers. His face is almost unrecognisable, and covered in cuts and bruises. He hasn't just been held captive, he's been properly tortured.

Oh God, I don't want to see this. I know it isn't going to be pretty. My anxiety deepens when I'm injected again, and Peacekeepers start to fill the other room. The glass is thick, so when they start talking, I can only watch. Adi keeps whispering things into an earpiece, and each time he does, the questions seem to get more and more intense, and Darius gets more and more distressed, until the violence begins.

Through my blurred thoughts, I am sure of two things. One, Darius is going to die; there's no way a man can survive long with half his shoulder cut off and bleeding relentlessly. And two, this is my fault. And not only mine, but Katniss'.

As the minutes tick by. As more blood and even a couple of body parts splatter on the glass, I have time to think. Darius and Lavina are ultimately dying and dead because of the girl on fire. Lavinia because Katniss only wanted to save herself that day with Gale in the woods, and Darius because she pulled that stunt in our first Games. I'm beginning to wish that one of us had just ended it and everything would have gone on as normal. Either me or Katniss would have returned, and despite our grief, we would have lived on.

Finally, before the blackness I've become so accustomed to welcomes me into its arms, I catch sight of what's left of Darius' eyes. I try to remember that my new thoughts are only because of the drugs, but his eyes seem to be saying one thing:

_It's her fault._

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games<br>**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: The first interview scene! Please tell me if I've done it wrong, or if it contains any mistakes.**

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><p>When I woke up in my cell, my senses had cleared, but my thoughts hadn't. I can vaguely remember Adi telling me that I have to awake early before he left. I had wanted to object, but as I'd tried to settle in that horrible bed, I'd discovered that that's no problem; hunger and nightmares have kept me awake up until this point. Now even fatigue itself seems to be keeping me from sleep. That and my memories. I can't stop reliving the previous day. Helplessly watching as Darius is beaten and hacked to pieces. Despite all the sleepless hours I've had so far, I still can't fathom why. And for what? Information? Or simply to show me what the Capitol can do?<p>

I'm still wracking my brains when Adi knocks on the door. I have no idea why he knocked. He normally parades in. When the door opens it isn't Adi who comes in; its a stylist. A young man with bright yellow hair, pale green skin and silver markings covering his face. He looks emensely freakish and it's all I can do not to let a cry escape me.

"Hello!" says the freak, in a voice so high-pitched that it doesn't even seem male. I sit up in my bed, and when the freak sees me properly he lets out a dramatic, lingering sigh. "Well, they haven't left me much to work with."

It takes me a few seconds for my mush of a brain to work out what he means. Before I can say something spiteful, he continues.

"Oh well, at least It'll be a challenge," then he smiles at me if he's only just realised I have a consciousness. "Anyway, I'm Efren, and Adi has brought me in to gussy you up for another interview with Caesar Flickerman."

And he doesn't say any more. I'm about ready to slap him in the face when a prep team walks, or should I say _bounces_, in. They all look like freaks, but now I'm at least expecting an explanation about the interview. I get nothing. Instead, when I notice the Peacekeepers standing outside, I just stand up and let them work on me. It's infuriating, but It's either that or I get electrocuted again. The prep team even dresses me, and I don't object. They seem so simple minded that I think they'd start pouting if I wanted to dress myself. The handsome suit I'm now wearing feels disgusting and unnatural after days of simple white clothing. When Efren starts applying a layer of white powder onto my face, I dare asking him a question.

"This interview," I begin gingerly. "It's another one with Caesar, and It'll be broadcasted everywhere?"

"Mmm-hmm." says Efren, even though I doubt he's actually listening.

"So... Katniss will see it too?"

"Most likely, yes."

A wave of mild terror rushes through me. What should I say? I'm not sure I trust anyone any more. Although during my time here I've heard a lot of talk about her filming propos for the rebels. She can't be doing it on her on accord, can she? Surely even she wouldn't dare encouraging the rebels. There's no way they can win.

When I'm what Efren calls "Acceptable", they whisk me out. I feel like I've become an alien. With all the makeup and fancy clothing, I don't feel like myself any more. I don't pay attention to where I'm going; I just feel so weak. In what seems like no time at all, I'm face to face with Adi.

"Now, Peeta, you remember the interview we did after the Quell, yes?"

"My memory isn't that bust." I spit, my voice full of contempt.

Adi pretends to ignore my tone, and nods. "Good. Well, we're simply doing a follow-up. So be nice, remember to behave, and don't forget that both myself and President Snow will be watching."

Then he pushes me up some steps I hadn't noticed before, and I stagger dizzily onto the stage. Caesar Flickerman is waiting in a chair, looking as cheerful and oblivious as ever. He smiles warmly the second he sees me. And seeing him makes me feel reassured, somehow. He seems like the only person I can trust now. Surely he can't know of what I've been through, so I push all my nasty thoughts temporarily to the back of my brain. I smile back and take my seat.

Caesar waits until the cameras and studio lights turn on, before he starts to talk, "Hello again, Peeta."

"Hey, Caesar." I say shakily. It feels odd to have to try and project my voice. For what seems like ages now I've had no reason to talk.

"Enjoying your stay in the Capitol?"

His words feel like lead in my ears, and they make my chest burn with anger, but I'm doing a good job of keeping it down. "Better than the arena," I say.

"I can imagine," Caesar smiles again, his teeth bright white. "Now, Peeta, we've been hearing some rumours. About your fiancée, Katniss. The whispers are," he holds for a moment, and I feel like impatiently sighing as I imagine the Capitol audience holding their breaths for the rest of the sentance. "that she's filming propos for the districts. Any thoughts on that?"

I pause. Katniss may have done some bad things, but no, she wouldn't have any voluntary part in this whole stinking plot to overtake the Capitol. She's too clever than that. I came to the conclusion recently that she isn't here in the Capitol, but she could be a hostage to the rebels. "They're using her, obviously. To whip up the rebels. I doubt she even really knows what's going on in the war. What's at stake."

"Is there anything you'd like to tell her?"

I answer immdiately, "There is," I turn my head and find the nearest camera. I have a feeling. I know she's watching me. "Don't be a fool, Katniss. Think for yourself. They've turned you into a weapon that could be instrumental in the destruction of humanity," I remember what Adi said, and I momentarily worry that I've earned myself a punishment. I add, "If you've got any real influence, use it to put the brakes on this thing. Use it to stop the war before it's too late. Ask yourself, do you really trust the people you're working with? Do you really know what's going on? And if you don't... find out."

I hear someone behind me shout, "Wrap!", and the cameras shut down. I'm thrown into a dim, murky light as the studio lights switch off as well. My skin is prickling as I stand up, shake hands with Caesar, and walk back down the steps.

"Atta boy, Peeta," says Adi, appearing behind me. "Keep this up and this war'll be over before you know it."

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I am not the owner of The Hunger Games, obviously, or I wouldn't be writing <em>fan<em>fiction.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Another two chapters in a day?**

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><p>For the first time, I feel hungry. I'm being whisked away from the studio, and as I am, I'm becoming aware of the emptiness knawing at my stomach. It feels like it's trying to eat itself out of pure desperation. I don't bother letting the Peacekeepers either side of me know about my pain. They wouldn't care; in fact, I think they might even try and make my journey back to my cell longer. For what seems like the millionth time today alone, I'm unfocused. So unfocused that I don't even notice that we're heading the wrong direction. I'm only made aware when my stomach groans so loudly, one of the Peacekeepers elbows me and I look up from my feet.<p>

My insides twist horribly as I recognise the door of the torture room. I don't think it's actually called that, but I've been restrained in there so often now that the title seems appropriate.

"I thought I was going back to my cell," I say, as the Peacekeepers drag my stiff body through the door.

"You thought wrong, didn't you, blondie?"

"Stop calling me that." honestly, I don't care what they call me. I just felt like I had to say something else, no matter how weak or futile.

The Peacekeepers laugh as they strap me into the chair facing the television. Adi doesn't come in. I don't think he has any need to watch me when they're doing... whatever it is that they're doing with the television. I expect an injection, but instead, I watch as they insert a thin tube into my arm.

"What's that?"

"The injections are playing hell with your arm. It looks like we've set a truck on mosquitos on you," says the Peacekeeper hooking the tube up to the machine next to the chair. He adopts an odd, grossly exaggerated voice, "We wouldn't want you losing your looks, would we? Those interviews with Flickerman are crucial to the rebels' downfall."

Are they? I didn't realise I had such an impact. I may mean something to Katniss and my family, but the other rebels? I thought I'd have come across as a traitor by now. Especially after the Capitol made me call a ceasefire. I don't even remember doing it. They say I did it after I came back from the Quell, but before I first woke up in that awful white room. My memories are so jumbled, but they showed me the footage, so I know they're not lying.

"You're very kind," I wince as they turn on the machine, and I feel liquid slowly make its way into my system. This time it isn't pinkish. It's more of a brown colour, and it looks repulsive. I'm guessing that as well as my usual drug, it contains some vital minerals and vitamins - the ones I've lost while starving myself.

They turn on the television and back up, to man the machine behind the chair, in case I'm in need of another electric shock.

This time it's a clip of Katniss, but it's too recent. It can't be from the arena. It must be a propo. The rebels do have her. She's standing in front of some flaming wreckage; my heavy heart tells me that it's a district. She looks set, and determined, and it frightens me.

"I want to tell the rebels that I am alive," she's saying. "That I'm right here in District Eight. Where I have just bombed a hospital full of unarmed men, women and children. There will be no survivors."

Then the screen is engulfed in flames and bold, dark letters appear in front of them.

**IF WE BURN, YOU BURN WITH US.**

Then, the television turns off, and the Peacekeepers don't move. They just keep pumping that stuff into my veins. I can feel it probing at my thoughts. But I don't pay any attention. What I've just seen can't be true. It _can't be true_. No, Katniss wouldn't ever do a thing like that. It crosses my mind for a moment that what she said could just be the Capitol's video editing, but I dismiss it. The propo seemed too real, to terrifying.

Eventually, Adi walks in. "So, you saw the propo?"

I find my voice shaky, and high with terror. "I... I did."

"And?"

"I can't... it can't be true... I refu-" I swallow. I don't want to say it. They'll hurt me, but nevertheless I try again. "I... I refu- I refuse," there, the words are out. "I refuse to believe it."

No sooner are the words out of my mouth, am I electrocuted. But this one is much more painful than all my others, and I'm screaming off the top of my lungs for it to stop. After an agonisingly long few seconds, I'm relieved of my pain, and I go completely limp. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest, and the drugs sneaking through my mind.

"How can it not be true?" I hear Adi say. I dearly want to answer, but no words come. I just lie there, my teary eyes closed and my breathing shallow. "You heard her, didn't you? She told you herself. She bombed a hospital full of innocent people," Adi chuckles. "And you don't even believe us when we show you the evidence!" he leans closer to me, and through my blurred vision I can only make out the bright green on his ears. "She's got you wrapped around her little finger, boy. Sort out what's real, and think for yourself."

Those are the last words I hear, before I give in to the combination of hunger and sudden exhaustion and black out.

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><p><strong>Make sure to review!<br>**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own The Hunger Games.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: This one is slightly shorter than the others, but the next one'll be longer, I promise. I'm allowed a day off school, so I might even have it up today. That makes me feel kind of glad about having to get a filling. Never thought I'd say that.  
><strong>

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><p>My first thoughts are of food, but when I come to, I'm not in my cell. I'm still strapped to the chair. I feel weaker than I think I've ever felt, and that's saying something. My throat is dry as a bone, and I'm sure it didn't hurt to breathe before now. The television is still on, so I'm assuming I'm about to watch something else. I can't take it any more. I start shouting. To Adi; to the ceiling; to whoever bothers to listen.<p>

My brain feels like it's been grinded into pieces. I can't tell what's real. I don't know what to believe any more. I just want to get out. I scream louder, because I can't hear myself through the unpleasant ringing in my ears. I need to hear myself. I need to know that _something_ is real, even if it is my own screams.

"Well," says Adi, stepping into the room so suddenly that it makes me jump. "You're certainly in a bad state. Maybe we should get some proper food in you. No one likes to live on liquid nourishment, do they?"

"No, I don't want food, I want to leave!" I shout, even though it's a lie. I do want food, desperately. But I feel hysterical. My voice sounds like it belongs to someone with no mind at all. Although my maniac thought process starts diminishing when I realise that I'm still hooked up to the machine holding the drugs. I don't feel like being knocked out again, because I'm afraid I'll completely lose it if I am.

"You'll get to leave, Peeta, don't you worry. Just not yet. We have one more film to show you, if that's alright."

I get the feeling that even if I say no, I won't have a choice. So, with tears leaking from my eyes, I simply nod. Adi grins at me; a twisted, nasty expression that only makes my mental state worse. I try and move my hands, because I need something to do, and find that they've both gone dead. As Adi inserts another tape, the questions that have been circling in my head line up and the first one out of my mouth is, "Could- could you loosen my restraints... please?"

No answer. Instead, the television blares on and Adi hurries behind me. I'm guessing to turn on the drug. The film that comes onscreen isn't one of Katniss. It's a simple montage. Bombs falling, people being blown to pieces, buildings being demolished mercilessly by what I can only assume are the rebels' forces.

"Why do you think I'm showing you this?" says Adi quietly, so close to my ear that I can feel his breath.

Because it's Katniss' fault. The answer comes to me immediately, but I don't say it. Somehow, the words wouldn't feel right coming out of my mouth. Instead, I whisper, "I don't know."

"Wrong answer, Peeta," says Adi, almost sympathetically, and I hear him press a button. This time though, it isn't an electric shock I'm rewarded with. It's something else. The restraints, both foot and wrist, clamp as tight as they can get, and with that comes a horrible feeling. It's like I'm being crushed, from the inside, and it's worse than being shocked. This is a different kind of pain. I can't even make a noise. It feels like all my energy is being spent on trying not to _die_.

When it stops, once again, I don't move. I don't think I can. I feel exhausted again, and immensely dizzy, with the drugs swimming around inside me. The film is still going on. The images are getting more and more gruesome.

"I'm showing you this because I'm trying to prove to you that Katniss Everdeen is not who you thought she was. She isn't the dream girl you saw as a kid. She isn't the hero who volunteered for her sister a year ago. And she certainly isn't a girl who could ever love you..."

Adi continues after that, but I don't pay attention. I'm too busy reeling from his last words. A while ago, I would have dismissed them as nonsense, blinded by my love for this girl. But now I've seen all she's done. I may hate the Capitol, with all the fibres in my being, but they've opened my eyes. Everything I thought I knew is falling apart, and I feel... betrayed.

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I still don't own the trilogy.<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

Finally, I'm allowed to eat. It seems like days since I've been gone from my cell, although I know it's only been a few hours, and being back in the claustrophobic white space is almost comforting after my ordeal. Before they threw me in though, they gave me some information. I'd have thought they would have the decency to save any more bad news for tomorrow, given my current weakened state. Now as I eat my large bowl of thick soup, I can't enjoy it.

District Twelve has been bombed down, and Katniss is actually situated in District Thirteen, which has apparently been running underground for years. They've been living - quite advanced lifestyles - for years and not once have they tried to help their neighbours. While we starved daily, played like pawns by the Capitol, they lived in security with plenty to eat and safe in the knowledge that the Capitol won't ever know of their existance. And I hate them, perhaps even more than I hate the Capitol. And Katniss is safe with them. I don't think they're keeping her hostage any more. The drugs have worn off and my mind has had time to think. How can she just leave me here?

I'm finished my soup too soon for my liking, and my stomach growls for more. I look around my cell, but the one bowl and a litre of water are all I get. I take the bottle and throw its contents down my throat. That's gone in a matter of seconds. With my stomach as satisfied as it's going to get for today, I climb into my bed and try my best to get comfortable. I don't, but I still fall asleep in a matter of minutes.

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><p><em>"Katniss?"<em>

_I'm surrounded by darkness. But I'm not alone. Someone is here with me; I can feel it. I'm calling out to them. _

_"Hello? Katniss? Is that you?"_

_"Yes," comes a voice behind me. "It's me."_

_I turn, grateful for her company. But instead of feeling relieved, her appearance startles me. Her eyes are sinister, and her movements seem unnatural. They remind me of one thing: Mutt._

_I open my mouth in a plead that never comes, when her arrow pierces my chest and I fall to the ground..._

I'm thankful for whoever woke me up. I didn't want to stay in that dream any longer. I sit up as quickly as my weakened body can manage and I become aware of the cold sweat covering my skin and sheets. Only now do I noticed my change of clothing. I hadn't even realised I'd changed. Only now do I realise how used to this routine I am. How used to torture I am.

"Good, you're up." Adi's voice comes from the open doorway.

Yeah, goody.

"I believe you know the routine?" says Adi, when the Peacekeepers come in. What little energy I'd gained from my food and rest starts ebbing away. I don't budge, so the Peacekeepers drag me to my feet and I don't even notice when they put the cuffs onto my wrists. I suppose I've become accustomed to that, too.

This time, when they strap me to the chair, they up the dosage even more. I'm starting to think that this much of that stuff can't be good for anyone. But then I realise that that's what they want. Today's footage is once again of the uprising in the districts. But at the end they show me something I didn't ever want to witniss again. Lavinia and Darius' tortures.

"No..." I say, more to myself than anyone else, because I know that nobody else would listen.

"I'm sorry?" says Adi. Those spirals around his ears must have given him super hearing or something, because I'd barely whispered that.

"I said _no_," I crane my neck as far as I can without hurting myself so I can see Adi's face. "Please, enough. I get your point: Katniss isn't a good person. I shouldn't trust her, but please, don't make me watch this again..."

"Are you being honest?"

I shakily nod, because it's true. I'm watching Darius being hacked to pieces again, and it's Katniss' fault. I don't know what I ever saw in her. I don't trust her, or anyone else any more.

"Then you're making good progress. Yes, you finally get that she can't be trusted, but you still don't understand."

"Under- understand what?"

Adi leans close to my face, and I can't help but notice the unnnatural flecks of yellow in his brown eyes. "Don't you see, Peeta? Katniss Everdeen is the cause of all this," he gestures to the television, and my eyes follow his hand. I catch the sight of Darius' thigh being ripped open by the Peacekeepers' instruments. "And if you really want it to end, there's only one solution. The girl on fire has to die."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I take it back; that filling _hurt_.**** Oh well, here you go, chapter eleven.**

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><p>No, the answer is no. I wouldn't ever kill someone, no matter what they've done. Especially Katniss. After everything we've been through, I know that somewhere deep inside her, there is something good. Being in Thirteen has brought something out in her, and for now she's gone. The good is gone, I mean.<p>

Right now I'm in my cell, with another bowl of soup, awaiting Efren and my new prep team. I was asleep for longer than I thought when I had that dream, and what was a day and a half ago when I went to bed, is now about an hour away. This time, I'm not doing an interview, I'm just going to be talking. I wonder what's become of my old prep team. I miss them, and Portia. I hope nothing's happened to them. I remember Adi telling me about Cinna. I can't help feeling a pang of hurt. Cinna, what did he do? Really, what did he do?

My soup still doesn't satisfy me, but this time I've recieved a roll on the side. I try and take my time with it, but hunger overcomes me and I stuff it down. That reminds me of my first Games. When myself and Katniss were in the cave and Haymitch had just sent us a small feast. Haymitch. Now him betraying me I could have seen coming. It's taken me a while to believe it, but it doesn't surprise me. Lousy drunk. I wonder what he's doing now? Nothing, probably. Locked away in his room in Thirteen, drinking his troubles away. I could be dead for all he knows.

"Peeta!" the shrill voice outside my voice no doubtably belongs to Efren. He pushes the door open and he, along with his prep team, come bustling in. "Peeta," says Efren again. "Nice to see you again."

I see his eyes flicker up and down my body, and I can tell by the face he pulls that I "Haven't left him anything to work with" again. I don't care. In fact, I find it quite amusing as he selects his beautifying tools from the rack he wheeled in with another of his exaggerated sighs. I realise I haven't smiled in months. Or what feels like months. I'm unsure to the exact amount of time I've spent in this place.

A girl with massive, curly purple hair and a heart-shaped face shows me the suit I'm about to wear. She's going on about the label; apparently it's one of the top brands in the Capitol. I honestly couldn't care less, but I nod and pretend to appreciate their efforts, because what's the point in making them miserable too?

Once I'm dressed and turned into what Efren thinks looks like a human, Adi walks in and ushers them out. I stand awkwardly, my legs feeling they're about to crack under my almost weightless body, as Adi approaches me.

"Now, this isn't an interview, as you know. Instead, you're going to be telling everyone in Panem about the damage their rebelling is doing. Think you can handle that?"

I nod, and Adi circles me. He doesn't give me a chance to speak, and continues, "Good, because this time President Snow will be with you, and if you say _anything_ that might jeopardise our chance at stopping these uprisings, you will be severely punished. It might even cost you your life."

Once again he's close to me, but I've been so focused on his words that I don't even notice he's pulled my sleeve up. Not until he injects me again.

"This one will last a while. Just something to help you remember what's at stake," he says, pulling out the needle slowly. "Oh, and also, District Thirteen will be watching. Remember to say hello to Katniss, because It'll be your last chance."

"What do you mean?" I say sharply.

"We're tired of their interference. Our forces are assembling the bombs as we speak. The rebels will me without Mockingjay by tomorrow morning. Now," he pushes me out the door and into the arms of the Peacekeepers, who start herding me towards the interview. "Off you go."

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games. I never have, and I never will.<strong>


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Yeah, chapter twelve.**

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><p>I take my seat on a metal chair that elevates almost as soon as I'm sitting down. I'm starting to feel strange. I don't know why Adi gave me an injection before a live television appearance. What if I fainted? If the Capitol is so intent on making everything seem alright, why would they want me to start freaking out in front of them?<p>

I look around me. The chair is in front of a large map of Panem, and below me, at the front of the stage, is President Snow. My heart skips a beat; since when has he been here? He's talking directly into the camera pointed at his face, and when he finishes talking, the camera pulls back - I'm guessing to include me in the shot.

I'm starting to feel hot, and panicky. I don't know what to say. What if I get something wrong? What do I say to the rebels? I'm beginning to sweat through my powdered face when I notice the autocue next to Snow's podium. I don't want to delay any more; I just want this to be over.

"It's been a while since my last interview, and the need for a ceasefire grows ever greater. How much more suffering must we put ourselves through? Already, so much damage has been done," I follow the autocue's instructions and gesture to the map behind me. "The dam responsible for keeping the water supply level in District Seven is damaged beyond immediate repair," pause as Seven on the map lights up. "A train thrown off its rails has caused panic as its toxic cargo leaks out into the environment," another area lights up. "And a fire has been the cause of a granary collapsing. Everything is because of rebel action, and-"

The camera suddenly makes a funny noise, and my eyes find the screen to my left where my broadcast is being shown, but I'm not on the screen. Katniss is. My chest flares up in an unfamiliar mixture of anger and fear, when I see her standing in front of yet more rubble. How did she manage to interrupt the broadcast? Stupid, she's going to make matters for Thirteen even worse.

Someone tells me to concentrate, and after a quick glance at my camera, I look back up to the screen and see myself again. I don't like this. I can spot Peacekeepers emerging from the shadows. They look enraged. President Snow, however, doesn't seem fazed. He looks oddly calm.

I cough, and continue, my voice laced with anxiety. "An- anyway, bombs have completely destroyed a water purification plant in District-"

I'm cut off again. I look up at the screen to see a clip of Finnick. He's talking about Rue. I feel sorry for Finnick. Did Katniss put him up to that? I don't bother returning to the broadcast, because there's no point. Every time the Capitol's tech masters get the cameras back on me, Thirteen's masters manage to override them. This goes on for a few minutes, and as it does, I feel myself becoming increasingly pallid. I just want it to stop. I just want Katniss to give it up. She, even with the whole of Thirteen on her side, cannot win. Especially after the attack from the Capitol's bombs in the night...

I look back up to the screen, and see that President Snow and myself are back. Snow is argueing with a cameraman, and all around us is commotion. Until Snow marches right up to the camera and starts talking furiously. I don't really listen - my mind feels too dazed - until he addresses me, "Peeta. Given tonight's demonstration, do you have any parting words for Katniss Everdeen?"

I find myself wincing at her name, and I swallow nervously, "Katniss... how do you think this will end? What will be left? No one is safe. Not in the Capitol. Not in the districts," I spot Peacekeepers mounting the stage. "And you... in Thirteen..." I'm struggling for breath. I can see myself on the screen; I look as pale as a sheet. The Peacekeepers and Snow are all muttering amongst themselves. I think that they might decide to blame me for Katniss' mistake. I regret my next words as soon as they leave my lips, "Dead by morning!"

"End it!" growls Snow, and the whole programme goes wrong. The cameras are still on me, but every few seconds, a stillshot of Katniss comes onscreen. I try to continue speaking, but the Peacekeepers are approaching my chair. In the scuffle they knock over the camera, and it falls to the floor. The Peacekeepers lower my chair down and grab me. I'm in trouble now. I start struggling, and I leap from my chair and try to run, but I'm caught in the sea of white-sleeved arms.

"Let me go!" I shout, my fake leg making my attempted escape even trickier. There's no way on earth they'd let me go now, not after what I've just said. But my brain is screaming at me, and I'm sweating so badly out of fear. Then I'm hit. I don't know what they hit me with, but I scream. The pain is unbearable. My eyes are swimming with stars, and I feel dizzy. As soon as I notice the scarlet liquid trickling from my head and to the floor, I give in to myself and let the starry darkness engulf me.

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own, I do not own, I do not and never will own.<strong>


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I am so sorry this took so long, and that it's slightly rubbish**** and short. But the internet's been on and off all week and I started writing this on here instead of on Word. So I did the chap slowly over the course of the past few days. Oh well, internet's back on, and you'll get 14 in the next few days. I need to catch up on my writing. Anyway, what do you think?  
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><p>The next few hours are a complete soup of mixed emotions, dreams, and screaming. When I come to for the what feels like the fiftieth time, I'm still lying in my cell, on the floor. I fell off my bed about seven awakenings ago and I haven't had the strength to clamber back on. There is food here, and my senses are trying to pull me towards it, but I restrain myself. I started crying a while ago, and my cheeks feel damp and hot. My physical pain is starting to catch up to the pain in my head now, and I think my prosthetic leg is completely bust.<p>

"She can't..." I find myself saying, once my sobs have stopped. "I... I know she can't..."

I don't know who I'm talking to, but I can't stop myself. It seems that I can't even tell the difference between thinking to myself and thinking aloud any more. I continue to mutter, not bothering to feel concerned, until something I'm asking myself catches my attention. If Katniss is so bad, why didn't she kill me in the Games?

The question surprises me. The Capitol hasn't found a way past this. Katniss certainly had some chances. During the Bloodbath in the 74th, even. She's lethal enough, isn't she? Then there was the incident with the tracker jacker nest. And finally, when I was weakest - after being cut by Cato and left to die. Even poking me in the stomach would have killed me then, in the state I was in. It kind of reminds me of my situation now. Even though this time I'm mobile, I'm still unable to save myself. I still face constant worry and I don't think I'll make it out of here alive.

"This time... she isn't coming... I don't want her to. She'll kill me..."

My words are hurting me, somewhere, deep inside the parts the Capitol hasn't reached yet. I know I shouldn't give in to the Capitol's tortures, but to be honest, I don't know how much longer I can hold on to my sanity. My mouth forms thoughts that haven't had a chance to develop yet, until I force myself to stop. Because the thoughts leaving my lips now aren't thoughts I want; they're not thoughts that could've existed inside me before they failed to rescue me.

Then, without warning, my thoughts about myself and Katniss simply stop. Because now I'm thinking about Johanna. She's next to me, seperated by only a wall, and she's being tortured. Maybe even worse than me. I know they won't be trying to share the truth on Katniss with her; there's no point. I don't think Johanna likes Katniss anyway. What's the point of strengthening that? They'll only be torturing her, simply because they can.

Then, Adi comes in with food and some Peacekeepers. Am I about to be hurt again? I don't know how long that thought took to surface the bubbling pool of my head, because as soon as it does is when I notice the Peacekeepers lowering the straps down onto my wrists and ankles. My arm throbs, and I don't need to look. The glint off the needle out of the corner of my eye is enough to inform me. The television screen in front of me starts up, and when they play the tape, I don't have the strength to try and avoid averting my eyes. What's the point?

When the tape finishes, my head is swimming. I feel like it's shouting at me, and then I start to sob. I don't know why. Am I missing home? Am I missing my family? Am I even missing Katniss? There's no way she survived the bombs, so why am I still fixating on it? Her name makes me angry; deep and real anger, even though I don't know why. There's something else, too. Fear, curiosity, longing. I have no idea what it is. I don't think I want to know. I just want to escape. At this point, I'd even consider wanting to die.

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: *Too tired to repeat self*<strong>


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: God, sorry for keeping you waiting so long. Not sure what happened. Anyway, sorry this one's short, but I don't want to drag it out.**

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><p>Two days. When I next come to my senses, the first thing I hear is Adi's voice. I've been out for two days. I don't even bother trying to figure out why, because the pain in my swollen arm is more pronounced than ever. I let him and more Peacekeepers than usual escort me to a room, one with something it seems I haven't seen in months. A plush carpet. I feel slightly stupid at the fact that something as simple as a plush carpet would capture so much of my attention, but I think I can forgive myself. I find myself clinging on to anything that reminds me of good times at the moment.<p>

"Wait here," says Adi, leaving me with two Peacekeepers. I find my way to a stiff sofa and slump down on it, exhausted by even a short walk from my cell.

I wait there, my fingers curling around the sofa's fabric, thinking about home. Or, trying to. I can't even bring the faces of my family into my head any more, and it's breaking my heart. But I don't cry, because with the pained longing for my family, comes the hot vengeance I've come to swear against the Capitol, and Katniss.

Katniss. She betrayed me, used me, and then left me. Through the conflicting emotions at war in my brain, I manage to sort out one line of thought,

_Katniss isn't your friend; she's the enemy. You have to stop her._

Stop her from doing what, I don't know. That is, if she's even alive. I previously thought that there's no way she survived that bomb, but the more I think about it, the more I realise that my warning on the interview could have given her and Thirteen a small chance. That's why I was beaten. That's why my hair is now matted with not only sweat, but blood. Because I didn't keep my mouth shut.

The door opens again, and in comes Adi. But he isn't alone. The Peacekeepers aside, the figure coming in behind him makes my blood run cold, and makes my hands tighten into involuntary fists. It's Katniss. So she is alive. And the mechanical gait I've noticed her using before now definately tells me something. She's a mutt. I can feel my mouth moving, but I don't think I've actually said anything, until-

"I'm sorry?" says Adi, as Katniss just smiles at me. Are... are her teeth slightly... pointed?

"I... I didn't say anything."

"Ah, but you did. I believe you said something along the lines of, 'Mutt'."

My heart starts thumping against my chest.

"Well, anyway. Look who's come to see you."

Adi steps back and I see Katniss in the full. She's still smiling at me, but her eyes show nothing but hatred. A look I should have recognised ages ago, but was too blinded by love to see it. I don't stand up, like I would have done. Instead, I find myself shrinking back into the sofa.

"Don't you want to say hi, Peeta?"

"I... I d... no. No, I don't," I stammer. "Please... don't make me. It," I pause, short of breath, my head pounding. "It hurts. I just want to..."

Adi looks at me expectantly, but I don't say any more. I close my damp eyes, and I can feel my arms shaking. It's all I can do not to vent out the anger building inside my brain, and I wrap my closed fists around myself in attempt to distract them. Silence. Nothing happens, and when I open my eyes a few minutes later, everyone's still here. I can't control it any more. My hands have turned white with effort by the time I get to my feet, but as soon as my eyes find a neck to target, my anger ebbs away. I don't know who I was going to go for, but that doesn't matter.

"Right, get her out of here." orders Adi to the Peacekeepers, and they usher Katniss out.

I slump to the floor, my breathing shallow and raspy. Seeing Katniss feels like the equivalent of a match against paper. My heart feels like it's ignited, with flames licking at whatever natural feeling I had left. I wanted to kill. My throat tightens when I realise my hidden intentions. I had wanted to kill someone, without even knowing it. I can feel panic rising up with the metaphorical flame, and before I can think, the words escape, "Kill me."

Adi raises his eyebrows, and the Peacekeepers come back in. "What did you just say?" asks Adi.

"Kill me," I say again. "Please, I... _I've_ just wanted to kill. I wanted to strangle..."

"Who?"

As much as the answer makes me feel sick, my answer flows out without hesitation. "K- Katniss. I wanted to strangle Katniss," my deepest fears and desires are pouring out to a Capitol madman. "And... it's your fault. I don't know what you've done, but I-"

"We've only opened your eyes, Peeta. Without us, you'd be in Thirteen right now, letting the girl on fire manipulate you like putty. Don't you thank us?"

I open my mouth, but then close it. Arguing is futile; it won't work. I stay silent, despite Adi's talking, until he orders the Peacekeepers to take me away. That wasn't really Katniss. It was a hologram. I noticed the projector above the door before I was dragged out. Not only did that humiliate me, but it also sparked something inside me that for the past few weeks I've hoped would stay hidden. There's nothing of me left now, nothing for them to take away. Everything I believed in is a lie, and the only girl I've ever loved is a mutt responsible of the deaths of millions. Someone who doesn't love me, and was only interested in her image.

I'm broken.

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><p><strong>Diclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games. Or the movie. I cannot wait until the movie...<strong>


	15. Chapter 15

__**A/N: Right, *Prepares self* you can shoot me if you want. I am so sorry for the wait. But I've been preoccupied with my other stories and yes, more writers block. Anyway, here it is. The rescue scene. Feel free to shoot me some more if it doesn't deliver, and make sure to review. Thanks and 100 more apologies.**

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><p><em>A familiar place; trees, screaming, rivers of blood. I've been here before. I'm running, away from something dangerous. My leg is injured. Not amputated, simply injured. The arrow shoots through the air and sticks itself into the thick tree trunk, but this time I move out of the way to avoid surprise as the tree falls over. My hands fall down my body in nervousness, and my fingers close over something in my pocket. I grab it, just as I'm tapped on the shoulder. Only this time I know what to do, when my pursuer gives me that smile. In a second, the maniac glint in her eyes goes out and she crumples to the ground, and I bring the knife back to my side. This is what I need to do, and nothing can stop it. <em>

I wake up, the familiar clammy feeling of cold sweat covering my forhead. Only this time I don't feel horrified at the prospect of what I did in my dream like I did so much time ago. My body feels hot; searing pain running up and down its bruised skin like clouds accross the sky. I touch my trouser leg, and the hum of my fake leg confirms my existance in the real world.

Food awaits me when I stand up, and I down it gratefully, savouring every mouthful as if it's my last. It probably might be. I finish the food, and place the plate back on the white ground. I notice it's stained. Blood, water marks, dried food. A sudden feeling of abandonment crosses my mind, but I don't have any time to dwell on it.

I vaguely heard the sounds outside my door when I first woke up, but didn't make anything of them. I hear tortured sounds all the time. It's who's making the sounds that gets my attention.

"Adi?" I mutter, finding my throat dry and unused.

I walk slowly to the door, passing the window that looks into Johanna's cell. Only she isn't there. I knock on the glass, panic rising up inside me, even though I don't know why. She's taken away all the time; why am I worrying about it now?

Someone runs past the open door in her cell, someone I've never seen before. Wait... is that gunfire? Can I actually hear gunfire? I'm at my door in a second, scratchy curiosity perking up out of its slumber. A slumber I thought would stay forever.

"... has to be here somewhere. Unless..." a voice was saying, faintly, from down the corridor.

"No," another voice continues. "He can't be. They wouldn't. Not with Katniss still alive."

Katniss. The word sends a shiver down my spine and anger into my face. I can feel myself becoming more and more freaked out; not only did these voices mention Katniss, they also sounded familiar. Only I can't place them.

I instinctively reach for the door handle that doesn't exist, and feel a sudden wave of claustrophobia. I bang on the door, hard. It hurts my wrists, but I don't care. I want to get out. I have to find out what's happening. I have to find Katniss, who is alive. Right now, alive somewhere and not caring about me.

"... this door." I catch the last of one of the voices sentance, and my blood runs cold when I realise that it came from outside my door.

"Locked." says the other voice.

More voices join in, and before I can shout out, I'm blown backwards. Debris and wires rain down on me, and the ceiling swirls above me. Darkness slithers around the corners of my vision, and I fight my hardest not to black out.

Someone is looking down on me. The owner of the voice. Something in my brain awakens, and I recognise him. Earlier I would have jumped at the chance to see anyone from home, but seeing him curls my hands into fists. I want to lash out, make him pay. He's connected to Katniss. It's his fault too.

But not only did seeing him make me remember, it made the darkness heavier. I can feel my brain slowing down, and even though I'm sure that I'm making a sound, I can't hear anything. Black covers slide over my eyes, and before I slip into unconsciousness completely I hear someone from furthur away say the newcomers name.

Gale.

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><p><strong>Make sure to tell me how this chapter went. Can I apologise some more about the lateness, or will it annoy you?<strong>

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games.**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: One more chapter to go before the climax. Sorry this one's short, but it's necessary.**

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><p>I'm not in my cell.<p>

The first thing that I become aware of when I awaken is that the white ceiling and walls of my cell have gone, and replacing it is a dark, tiled ceiling and equally dark walls. The air tastes unsettlingly of metal and that sickening sterile smell that accompanies every hospital wing. My fingers curl, and instead of my hard cell bed I feel warm and soft fabric closing in my hands.

"Adi?" the first thing I manage to say, even with the excitement and tiny ember of hope that I just might be somewhere else consuming my thoughts.

Daring to lift higher, my hopes make my heart pound. No snarky tone of voice commanding Peacekeepers to drag me off for more torture, no Efren bursting in to comment on how I've let my hair mat.

I push myself up against a metal headboard, and I feel panic rising when I once again see the tubes sticking out of my arm and connecting to a life-support machine. Until I see the windows. Real, glass windows. I try and get up but the tubes send something through into my veins as soon as I move my arm.

"No, please..." I croak, no the people who aren't there. "Not again... I need to..."

Before my heavy eyelids close, I catch sight of the view from the window. Clouds. Flying past like birds, they are the signs of one thing: I'm in an aircraft, and whoever took me from the Capitol is travelling fast. This dares me to hope what I haven't thought about hoping for weeks now. Could I, after so much time and pain, be finally free of Adi and Snow's influence?

It's a nice thought to cling on to, as I slip into a pleasant unconsciousness.

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><p><strong>Please R&amp;R!<strong>

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games.**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Yes, I finally got round to it! The final chapter :)**

**It pretty much goes straight into how Katniss and Peeta were reunited in Mockingjay, and you know the rest from there.  
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**Once again, I'm so sorry about the lateness on the last few. And thanks to all my lovely reviewers for putting up with it.**

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><p>"Peeta?"<p>

An instinctive urge to lash out crawls into my thoughts, as an unfamiliar male voice is the first thing I hear. The heavy feeling that weighs itself in the pit of my stomach whenever I'm in an aircraft has vanished, so I must have landed. My wrists, raw from all the times I've been restrained, for once feel free. I open my eyes, and through the haze of dull colours swimming in front of me I make out a figure. I have to splay out my fingers to stop that instinct from taking over.

"Who..." I try, but my voice is cracked and unintentionally shaky. I try to say a coherent sentance, but the only words that make it past my lips are, "Who are... where..."

"Shh," the voice says, and the figure leans out of my line of vision for a moment, before returning with something in his hand. "Drink this." there's a pause, before he adds, "It's water."

I prop myself up on my pillow, and take the plastic bottle from the medic's hands. I take off the cap, and throw the clear liquid down my throat. The effect on my chest and throat is instant. For a sinking moment, all the signs point to me being back at the Capitol, before I fully remember what happened. My cell was broken into, and I was taken. So where am I now?

"T-thanks." I croak, coughing and draining the rest of the water until no more remains.

"You were in quite a condition," the medic says, his features slowly becoming more prominent. "Can you remember what happened when you were in the Capitol?"

"I... I don't know." I lie, blinking. My eyelids feel heavy, and even though I've been encased in the arms of dormancy for so long now I just want to go back to sleep. Maybe it'll help with the pain building up in my temples; unlike any headache I've ever had, and more like a physical injury. "Where am I?"

The medic doesn't seem to hear me, and asks me, "Can you wait here for a minute?"

I shrug, and then wish I hadn't. An ache ignites from my shoulder blades and spreads in a wave down my back. From one of the cabinets adorning the walls, the medic takes out a tube of pills. He hands me two and another bottle of water, "Swallow these. I'll be back in a moment. Then I think there's someone who wants to see you."

He gives me a smile that doesn't reach his eyes, and leaves. I try and catch sight of where I am while the door is open, but all I see is a hallway. Someone who wants to see me? Narrowing it down would be easier if I knew where I am. It could be anyone. If I'm back home, it's most likely my family. But being back in District 12 seems like such an exquisite thought now, even despite its conditions.

The medic returns, and with him enter two others.

"We're just going to check for any lasting injury, is that ok?" one of them says softly, as if talking to a child. I nod dismissively, my thoughts elsewhere. I don't pay much attention, despite my curiosity at what they're doing. The pressure on my wrists indicates them checking my pulse.

I only flinch when they start waving a light in my eyes, which is what makes me notice the figures approaching the door. The first one I can make out - Haymitch. Maybe I am in District 12. I'm about to call out to him when I see the person behind him. Involuntarily, my fingers clench into fists and my blood freezes.

Katniss.

She and Haymitch burst into the room, and that feeling that had been nagging the back of my head suddenly arupts, and I can almost feel it as it bleeds into my thoughts, blocking out everything else. Adi's voice starts screaming at me:

_Your pathetic little love story was a lie. Katniss Everdeen is the cause of all this. We've only opened your eyes, Peeta.  
><em>

I push away the hands fussing over my condition and stand up, my legs feeling like lead beneath me. Katniss moves closer, and she's just about to say something when all the compressed feelings of fear and anticipation compell my hands into closing themselves around her throat. Haymitch and the medics go into a frenzy, but the only voice I can hear is the one I heard so often in the Capitol.

_ There's only one solution_, they had told me. _The girl on fire has to die._

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading :)<strong>

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games**


	18. Chapter 18: Author's Note

**I thought the authors note at the end of the last chapter was a bit short, so here I am.**

**Just giving a thanks to all the people who've followed this story since I started it, especially: hannahX, Meri, xXTeamFinnickXx, Bellas Pizza, DammitimmaD, Nikki-Love013, The Clever, NikkiLove013, cantbebotheredtologin, E4Whovian, FireBeatsRoses, LizTheBookNerd, in-a-state-of-marry-me-ness, Yoko, kidfromsix, Effie Trinket, bigtimerangergirl123, KoolKatAndPop, WaffleNinja, EnchantedWorlds, AngelMorph and anon.**

**The reviews really helped me a lot. I didn't think the story would get much positive comments, because I was sure tons of people had done a story like this before. So, thank you all :)**

**I vaguely have a sequel planned, but this time I want to get pretty far into it before I post chapter one, so you're not waiting for ages like the end of this one, so it won't be soon.**

**Love you all!**

**~ Platypus**


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